Locker Room

I am often baffled by the power of the locker room. Walking though the door is like stepping into an alternate reality where all social norms are cast aside and no *real-life* rules apply. It's a crazy and twisted world where the only stipulation required to strip in front of another person is that the same institution drafts an exorbitant fee from both of your bank accounts every month.

It's funny to watch how different people react to this topsy turvy world. Some attempt to change clothes without ever being completely naked. I really admire the ingenuity of this group. It involves a strategically placed towel and two bras being on at the same time at one point. Not sure how they do it, but the effort is greatly appreciated.

Then there's the other group that depends heavily on timing. This is the group I fall into. I reconcile to the fact that when in Rome, I must do as the Romans. I reluctantly will be seen in just bra and undies... but finagle things so no one is actually around when I let it all hang out. This of course isn't fool-proof. There are times when it's unavoidable. But I move at the speed of light to make sure I get covered up as fast as possible.

That leaves the last group. The *naked-loving* group. I can't stand this group. They love being naked. They weigh themselves naked, dry their hair naked, put on their make up naked. I even caught one of them leaving the curtain to the shower open while they were in there!! Maybe I am not as confident in my body as I should be. And maybe my body isn't as *naked-ready* as it could be. So I'm sure I'm a bit more sensitive to this issue.....but I still maintain, that the rule is if you are in the shower and a CURTAIN is provided, USE it. Always.

The very worst though, is when these people don't feel like they are getting ENOUGH attention and.... decide....to...TALK to you. While naked. I'm still a newbie when it comes to Locker Room Law, but I'm pretty sure that violates some kind of rule or ordinance. At least slap on a pair of undies before you start asking me how my workout was.

Speaking of my workout, it was great. I did 30 mins on the treadmill and then 15 minutes on the elliptical. Which was hard. Really really hard. Don't I look like I really kicked butt??

Week 3 Weigh-In: 243.8 (-3.8 lb)

I am really happy with my number this week. Losing 3.8 lb is really great. It's extremely depressing that I went so far off the deep end Week 2 and gained over 5 lbs. I do that all the time. It's so typical. How do I stop that? I hate this one step forward, two steps back cycle. It's so self destructive. And pointless.

The one good thing about not having given up totally is that I am making progress on the *exercise* side of things. I took it pretty easy for the first three weeks. I walked on the treadmill at a very easy pace. I didn't want to hurt myself and more importantly I wanted to give myself time to build up some muscle and flexibility. This morning I was able to pick up the pace and do intervals with raising the incline up to a 10 every five minutes. I really had a *workout*. It felt good. No pain in my hip or in my plantar fasciitis.

Look at how far I walked and how many calories I burned in 45 mins!















I am really happy with how I'm eating and my workout schedule. Weight watchers is easy to follow. I love my free day each week. And getting to the gym Mon-Fri is very doable. Almost enjoyable. It's just my brain. I get this "freak out, out of control" attack and just shove food in my face. Its so connected to my view of myself. Which changes with the weather. When I feel good and healthy, I eat good and healthy. When I was really young I always felt huge. I felt like a fat girl and so I ate like a fat girl. There didn't seem to be any point to eating healthy or taking care of my body. And I still fall into that. I feel like junk. So I eat accordingly.

I have everything I need to break that cycle. I just need to keep working at it every single day.

Chunky Monkey Oatmeal

Keeping it interesting while keeping it healthy is always a challenge. Like what's for breakfast... how about eggs? You're sick of eggs? How about some oatmeal? You're tired of oatmeal? Well, have some eggs. Eggs or oatmeal....oatmeal or eggs.... that's been the story of my breakfast life for quite some time.

It hasn't been so terrible. I really love steel cut oats. And I have tried them lots of different ways. I even made up my own recipe that came out really good.

Chunky Monkey Oatmeal (Makes 6 1-cup servings. 5 PointsPlus)

1 cup steel cut oats
1.5 cup water
1.5 cup 2% milk
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 banana, mashed/diced
2 tbsp all natural peanut butter (ingredients should only say "peanuts")
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp semi-sweet mini chocolate chips

Put everything (except the chocolate chips) in a crock pot sprayed with cooking spray. Stir and cook on low for 7 hours. Top each 1 cup serving with 1 tsp chocolate chips. Enjoy!

Week 2 Weigh-In: 247.6 (+5.6)

You know how I was complaining about all my pants being too baggy? It's no longer an issue. I gained 5.6 lb this week. Nice, huh? I have always prided myself on my problem solving skills.

On a not totally unrelated note, I watched the entire first season of Gilmore Girls this week. I had never seen a single episode. I had heard of it but thought it was kinda like Jersey Shore or Gossip Girl....which I haven't seen either...but seems really shallow and boring. It is nothing like that. It's right up my alley with a small town setting, idealistic mother-daughter relationship, teenage angst and a lot of "he loves me, he loves me not" thrown in for good measure.

Watching an entire season of a TV show in a single week (actually, it was more like a long weekend) takes commitment and determination. I didn't have time for distractions like going to the gym. It also snowed enough to have our normal weekend obligations cancelled (yay). This combination of copious amounts of TV and snow morphed into this unquenchable craving for Chinese food. And during the hours of 11am and 3pm you can get an entree, fried rice, and an egg roll for $4.95. So I did...about three times. Which I'm guessing adds up to roughly 5.6 pounds of General Tsao....who (just for the record) was way more good looking on my PLATE than he is on my butt.

I went to the gym this morning. Bright and early. Walked on the treadmill, watched Big Cats on Animal Planet. I am hoping for a huge number this week. Like a 10 pound loss. Ok, ok, I will be happy with 8 pounds. Dream big, right? I have this event this weekend that I would really like to look nice at...these 254 calories burned should help.

Beauty School

I have been feeling extra super frumpy lately. I just can't find my Pretty. When I shower and dress at the gym in the morning, I am consistently amazed by how good everyone looks when they are done getting dressed. They look put together. I am so jealous. I watch the process and it's not all that different from what I do. But the end result is so much nicer.

Going up and down in weight does pose problems to my wardrobe. I only have 2 pairs of jeans that I wear right now. And they are both a bit too big. And I don't own any winter tops that fit. So I have been wearing a t-shirt and then putting one of two jackets on top. I have really been wanting a good haircut. Fun. Flippy. Flirty. Whenever I try to explain what I want to a hair stylist I never ever ever get it.

And half the time they end up cutting way too much off my hair, which is pretty long (half way down my back). And they never get the layers right. This reminded me of an old problem I used to have with my eye brows. My eyebrows are thick and I like them that way.... none of the people I paid to wax my eyebrows agreed with me. They always took way too much off. After the last massacre to my eyebrows (which are still bald in crucial spots) I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bought professional waxing supplies. And have been doing my own eyebrows. And I love them. So, what about my own hair?

I had no doubt that I could cut someone else's hair the way I wanted mine....but how to do it to myself?? This problem was really eating at me. So I turned to the one place that was sure to have answers. Google. And she sent me to YouTube where I found this awesome video and a whole bunch of others, including demos on how to cut side swept bangs, and the twist cutting technique which makes perfect angles in your hair.

I felt really confident. I went home.... and cut my own hair. I even gave myself bangs.... and?

I....LOVE it!!! I am so excited! This morning in the dressing room I also brought my own blow dryer and a fat curling iron and did my hair. I am still in my frumpy clothes but I feel a lot better. Amazing what a good cut can do!

Week1 Weigh-In: 242.0 lb (-2.8 lb)

Weight: 242.0 lb

Loss: -2.8 lb

Total Loss: -33 lb













My first week on Weight Watchers went well, all things considered. I am allowed 36 points a day. Which is plenty of food...especially since fruits and veggies are FREE. And I STILL went over my points. Every. Single. Day. I don't really know how this kept happening. Well, I did kinda binge a bit on my days off from work (shoving cheese sticks in your face can rack up points quick). I only work three days a week (yes, I am jealous of me too). Those two days off are land mines. It is so hard to eat right on my days off.

Every day after I had written in my cool pink food journal I went to add up my points... and needed a calculator. I went sooo far over my daily points allowance. For this week, I planned ahead to make sure that doesn't happen again.

Even though I didn't exercise every day Monday through Friday as I had planned, I did get to the gym three days this week and walked on the treadmill for 45 mins at 2.5 mph (i know that's really really slow...go ahead and laugh, I won't think less of you). Best of all, I managed to get to they gym BEFORE work in the morning.

For those of you who have met my alarm clock and have seen the scars on its snooze button, you probably already know that I am not a morning person. But getting to the gym early seems to be the secret to my getting to the gym at all. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Could I have done better this week? Sure. Could I have done worse? Absolutely. I am happy with my results. And I plan on doing even better Week2.

Grapefruit

Some foods possess whimsical qualities. These foods magically turn delicious and irresistible the second I start a diet. For instance, if I am off-plan, trail mix isn't even on my radar. But when I am on a diet, trail mix takes on the characteristics of crack cocaine... and I have to measure it out into 1/4 cup servings lest I eat a week's worth of calories in dried fruit and nuts. Thankfully, not all these chameleon foods are high in calories. When I am eating healthy, I also crave Grapefruit. (mmmm...grapefruit)

Sadly though, we have a love-hate relationship. I can't stand the outer white bitter stuff. Which means before I can actually EAT a grapefruit, I spend forever separating the yummy part from the icky part. It is tedious and very messy. I have tried cutting out the sections with a knife...and using a grapefruit spoon. I even bought this fancy grapefruit-sectioner-thing....which didn't work very well...and left most of the grapefruit in the rind.

What's a girl to do? The only thing TO do when you are stumped. Google it.

After just a few seconds I learned that Grapefruit got its name because it grows in clusters like grapes. And that the fruit was known of since the 1600's but only used as an ornamental plant. It wasn't until the 19th century that people started to actually eat it. (I guess no one was on a diet before then.)

Google also brought me to this very helpful video that promised to show me how to speed-cut Grapefruit. I was skeptical and had to try it for myself.

First, I cut off the top and bottom ends like this...

(Yes...I have a pink knife.)

Then I cut it in half.

Then I flipped the grapefruit halves over and used that pink knife to cut the rind off.

When I was done it looked like this....

Then I cut each half into quarters like this....

At the pointy part of the quartered piece there is that hard white bitter center. See it?

I cut that off of each quartered piece like this.

When I was done with that, I sliced up the quarter pieces and put them in a bowl.

And then I sprinkled it with a little Truvia.

The verdict? It still isn't as easy as peeling an orange or a banana. But it's a lot faster and less messy than the way I was doing it before. This will definitely be my go-to method from now on.

Brussels Sprouts

Some veggies really get a bad rep. Even the most faithful veggie lover may still furrow their brow when they find a pile of certain intimidating greens on their plate. For me, the list of scary veggies has included Brussels Sprouts.

I wanted to like them. I really really did. I wanted things to work out between us. I thought maybe I just needed to spice things up. So I tried adding garlic and onion. But there was still no connection. I even stooped so low as to buy them precooked, frozen, and covered in a delicious cream-butter-cheese sauce. That did the trick...but it ended up being just a one night stand. I still couldn't commit. I thought maybe we needed to get to know each other better. So I did the Vegetable World equivalent of Facebook Stalking and searched for them on Wikipedia.

After finding out this cute little cabbage was named for the capital city of Belgium, I also discovered I was spelling it wrong. It's Brussels Sprouts. Not Brussel Sprouts. Maybe there was more to these little guys than meets the eye. I decided to give us one more chance.

I found a recipe that looked pretty amazing. And it was super simple and healthy.

I used 4 cups of Brussels Sprouts and 2 tbsp basting oil

(My grocery store sells this yummy oil that has garlic and herbs in it. But you can make your own with oil and herbs.)










I washed, trimmed, and quartered them...then put them on a baking sheet.














After coating them with 2 tbsp basting oil, I put them in a 350° oven. After 30 minutes, I pulled out this.














I may have cooked them too long, but the charred leaves were my favorite part! I added them to my plate of grilled chicken and red potato.














They were good! So good in fact, we are going steady. They will definitely be on my shopping list again Friday night!

Makes 4 servings. PointsPlus: 2 pt

Well, Here We Go Again

The next time you look at a fat girl and say, "Man, she should go on a diet", rest assured she probably is already on one. Or is rebounding from one. Or about to start one Monday. My highest weight was 275 lb. Since I don't play for the NFL or NBA, that was pretty heavy. Over the past four years I have managed to carve off 30 lbs. I have yo-yo'd but pretty much find myself leveling off right at 245 lb. Which is where I find myself today on this beautiful Monday morning full of hope and possibilities.

I decided to do WeightWatchers. I needed my first week back on the wagon to be as easy and cushy as possible. I bought a bunch of SmartOnes for lunch because I had this amazing coupon for $5 off 12.

I weighed-in at 244.8 lb. Resting Heart Rate 75.

When I rolled out of bed this morning, I headed straight for the kitchen, grabbed my over-sized lunch bag and threw in my water bottle, hard boiled egg, banana, SmartOne, yogurt, grapefruit, string cheese, apple, diet ginger-ale, and some cut-up cucumber. I may have over did it, but I am scared of giving up too soon if I don't have plenty of point friendly food on hand.

This fun calculator told me that I need to eat 31
points a day. And fruits and veggies are free.

This not-so-fun calculator told me my BMI is 44.9. And then added insult to injury by placing me in the Grade 3 Obesity category which has an additional title of "Morbidly Obese". I have to lose 4.9 points off my BMI just to get down into the Grade 2 Obesity category which they didn't even bother to give a description.

After I grabbed my food I also grabbed my new gym bag that I got at Goodwill.

Then I headed out the door. Got to the gym before work. And walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes. At the break-neck speed of 2.5 mph.

Losing 100 pounds is going to be GREAT.

Pink Elephant

If you ask me how much I weigh, I could probably give you a good guess. Maybe 250? Not quite sure.

I'm 5'2'' so the most common follow-up question is "Aren't you doing anything about your weight?"

The truth is, I spend my whole life doing SOMEthing about my weight. Half of the time that something is trying to lose weight. The other half of the time that something is IGNORING it. Although the ignoring is way more fun and easy, it's also way more time consuming. I don't get a break from ignoring it. It's a rigorous Ignoring Schedule.

I ignore it in the morning when I try to get dressed and my clothes are too small...and on the ride to work when my seat belt is digging into my flab...and at night when my back hurts cuz its been lugging around my big butt all day.

So what do you do when ignoring all the junk in your trunk turns out to be more work than actually doing something to get rid of it?

Only one thing TO do. You grab that pink elephant in the room, look right into it's eyes....and realize....it's you.

Hello, I'm Pink Elephant. I'm DONE ignoring it. I am going to lose 100 pounds.