End of Daze & Weigh-In

It took all week but I finally snapped out of my daze.  It wasn't a pleasant awakening....  I felt like Rip Van Winkle.  I had been out of it for a long time and didn't even know it.  Worst of all, life (and the scale) had continue to go on without me.  I found I had gained 20 pounds in the last 3 months. I have a lot of work to do.  So much work.

I had to ease into it and gave myself a lot of flexibility last week.  I went out to eat.  I snacked more than I should have.  But I also got to the gym four times. I got all my weight workouts in.  Being on the elliptical was painful.  I can't believe the difference 20 pounds and 3 months of immobility can make.  I just keep telling myself it will get better.

I spent Sunday prepping prepping prepping.  I made this UH-MAY-ZING Lentil Quinoa Salad.

I grilled a lot of chicken and boiled a lot of eggs.  I made a ton of green salads in plastic containers to keep on hand. (Cuke, Carrots, Chickpeas, Baby Spinach, 1 T Craisens, 1 T Walnuts)

I made this tasty Broccoli Cheddar Breakfast casserole.

I cut it into 6 pieces and put them each in individual plastic baggies.  That with a piece of fruit makes for a fast and delicious healthy breakfast!

I have been trying to make myself feel like some one worth taking care of. It's hard when your clothes don't fit and you feel uncomfortable.  I've been doing my hair and makeup.  Does it make me super shallow that stuff like that actually works wonders for me??

Nails: Paint nails a neutral color. Let dry.  Dip in water for 5 seconds, hold a piece of newspaper to the nail for 5 seconds.  Top with clear.


Makeup:  Ulta is having an enormous sale! Hello BrONzERs!! And mAsCAra!! And eye sHAdoW!!

I love this baked bronzer as a highlight. Perfect!







And I love this bronzer for contouring.
 

These bronzers are normally $10 and $15.  But they are on sale for $5 each. AND THEN...there is a $5 off $10 purchase. So you can get these for $2.50 each. **Be still my heart!**

I am still trying to find a GREAT mascara.  I really like Rimmel Glam Eyes.
 

I also really like Maybeline Define-a-Lash.
 
But I want to find something new.  Any ideas??? Any mascaras that make you say "wow" when you put it on?

I traded in my bribe gift from Hubs.  As much as I wanted to love the Urban Decay Naked2 Palette...I just didn't.  The colors were muddy and not pigmented.  I traded it in for the Lorac Pro Palette.  Good call!! I love love love it!

It's so hard to tell in photos...but it's natural, bright, versatile, and oh-so-pretty.  There are 8 matte shades (on top) and 8 shimmer (NOT sparkly) shades (on bottom).  Highly recommend this palette!

Here's another one.  What do you guys think??


Hair:  Just been playing around with it....here's something I came up with that I thought was kinda cute.
 

Now, for the weigh-in....drum roll not necessary....

Weight:

255.4

Week Loss:

-3.6

I will post the recipes for that Broccoli Cheddar Breakfast Casserole and the Lentil Quinoa Salad.  Stay tuned!

  

Shiny and New

My library trip proved very fruitful.  I went through the entire Health/Fitness section of my public library.  (Holy Fad Diets, Batman!)  These were the ones I decided were worth a closer look.

I actually went through all of these books and read two of them cover to cover.  A few people commented on my last post about The Eat-Clean Diet by Tosca Reno.  My library didn't have it in stock so I had to order it. I can't wait to check it out.

I truly believe calorie counting is the way to go.  I have never ever counted calories.  It terrifies me. Seems so scary.  But with MyFitnessPal it is worth a try.  That website is the best.  I decided to do the Curves Eating Plan.  This is the low down:

• 3 phases:  1 Week=1200 calories, 3 Weeks=1500 calories, 2 Weeks=2000 calories  (The idea is to diet for a month and maintain for 2 weeks. Keeps your metabolism up and teaches you how to maintain.)
• Pick either High Carb or High Protein.  (I decided to start off with the high carb.  This means 137 g of carbs and 91 grams of protein each day.)
• Exercise at least 30 minutes 5 days a week.  (My workout schedule is 45 minutes of cardio 3 times a week and 45 minutes of weights 2 times a week.)

I know this will work.  It will be a major challenge though.  I was getting about 1200 calories on the Fat Smash Diet but this is different because I need to spread my out my calories like this..

• Breakfast: 200 cal
• 2 Snacks: 100 cal each
• Lunch/Dinner:  400 cal each

 I also have to make sure that I get the right ratio of fat/protein/carb.  If it weren't for MyFitnessPal I wouldn't stand a chance! It took me a while to figure it all out but in the end I am happy with what I came up with.  (Don't I sound all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  Ah...the hope that comes with a new diet.)

I made a bunch of steel cut oats with blueberries for breakfast.

Don't they look adorable in these mason jars?? I got the idea from this "Refrigerator Oatmeal" recipe which I will post all about later.

I tried to make my lunch super yummy and veggie packed.

Pretty, huh?

One of my snacks is a smoothie with plain unsweetened kefir and mango.  I put the kefir and mango in the little canister and brought it to work like that.  I'm leaving the blender base in the break room for super easy convenient snacks!

I need to find something that I can stick to long term.  And I need to learn how to maintain.  I really hope I found something here!! Cheer me on :-)

Just a quick hair photo... made up this weird bun. With the summer heat I need my hair off my face!
 
Kinda cool!

Fairy Tales and 5K's

Breaking up with Scale was a bad idea. These last few weeks without him have been horrible.  Oh, sure, at first it was fun and liberating.  But it turns out he was right about everything.  This weekend I went crawling back.  Sure he had some nasty things to say... hello 240's....but we are going to work through things together. 

The truth is, I don't believe I can will do this.  I just don't.  I love love love eating food.  Logically I don't understand it. What is so wonderful about taking an item mashing it between your teeth and swallowing it?  Why is that action my very favorite thing in the WORLD to do?  Yes, it often tastes good.  But a lot of the times that's not even the case.  I can't make sense of it.  I work so very very hard.  And then I throw it all away Every.Single.Time.  I really think this whole thing is a bunch of crap.  Pointless. Ridiculous. 

I have done it all and I don't want to do any of it again.  I know that the Fat Smash Diet really works.  Works WONDERS.  I just did it recently and I don't flippin' wana do it again.  Not now.  I decided to track calories on MyFitnessPal....but holy crap people! 1200 calories is really hard to stay at.  I am going to the library tonight to (once again) go through all the diet books on the shelves.  If any one has tried anything that has worked or can recommend anything I would love some advice.  I need something I haven't tried before.  Only something shiny and new will work when I am feeling like this.

Really I know that my problem isn't on my plate...it's in my brain.  I binge and overeat.  I don't know why.  Maybe I wasn't held enough as a baby...or maybe too much... or maybe I just like having a party in my mouth.  I don't know what it is but I need to fix it and I feel like I can't do it on my own.  I looked up Over Eaters Anonymous.  It's a 12 step program.  How's that for "bottom of the barrell"??  I found some in my area but none are at times that I can make. 

Maybe I should just try duct tape......

It's sad to think that this past month I really was on the ball with exercise and yet still gained 5 pounds.  It makes me sick to think that if I could have just dragged my fat butt away from the ice cream aisle that I could be down to my mini goal of 225 pounds.  Exercise does not compensate for the binge. I weighed in at 240.8 pounds.

I'm not sorry that I kept up my exercise though.  I do feel fitter, if not thinner.  In fact, I walked 2 5K's in May.  The first one was not timed...but the second one was.  The last 5K I walked was in 2010 and my time was 01:01:22.  This year my time was 55:58.  I shaved over 5 minutes off my time!! I really pushed myself.  Yes, I know that's still really slow, but it averages to about 3.3 mph and that is really great for ME.

I had some cute stinkin' hair for the 5K too!! And that always helps.

They both look this this from the front.

Just a side dutch braid.



This one is a dutch braid with a bun.



And this one is a dutch braid wound back and forth across my head.

I hope when I go scavenging for diet books I find something that cons me into believing again.  Because it's great to believe.  Even if it's in Fairy Tales.  Cuz that Fairy Tale where I can actually get control of my eating has one very Happily Ever After ending.

Reward & Punishment

I am so close to the 50 pound mark I can taste it! This will bring me down to 225 pounds. Ten more pounds to go before I get there.  I wanted to mark this milestone by rewarding myself with something special and unique.  And I found it.

Isn't it adorable and lovely?  I don't have it in my clutches yet...but soon..oh so soon!  I love owls. And I think it's a fitting symbol for weight loss success.  Owls are a symbol of wisdom...which makes me think of this....

"Wisdom is proved righteous by its works." --Matthew 11:19

I have made some wise choices and worked hard and it shows!

I am in Phase 4 of the Fat Smash Diet.  This phase allows for yummy and delicious things.  It also requires that I increase my workouts to 45 minutes 5 days a week. Not horrible. Very doable. I have been really good about allowing myself to have treats within the portion sizes allowed on the diet.
 
There is something incredibly empowering about being able to have a little bit of something delectable.  The fact that I am able to do this makes me feel like I have super powers.

At first I was going to skip the treats all together.  The idea of having junk in my house terrified me. I had to remind myself that the ice cream in my freezer is more scared of me than I am of it (as well it should be).  I am so glad that I took this chance. This is my real ultimate goal. To be able to enjoy treats in moderation. And not have it trigger a feeding frenzy.

Due to the fact that I have added extras into my diet, I am even more strict with getting my workouts in. And I think I may be going a little overboard.  Earlier this week I started my day with 30 minutes on the elliptical, swam for an hour, and then went for a one hour bike ride in the evening. It was too much. Much too much. I chose to do all those things mostly because they were all fun and I wanted to...but if I'm honest with myself it's because I am terrified of what that scale will say Monday because of eating all these extra calories.  I don't want to use exercise as a punishment.  I hate when I feel this way. I lost zero pounds last week and I know if the same thing happens this week (or God forbid, goes UP), I will be devastated.  I don't want to be THAT girl.  The girl who lets her mood be governed by the number on the scale. How do I stop this?

Here is a shot of how my hair looked after I slept in braids, took them out and pinned it back :-)

Here is the back view....

And a pic of me with Hubs.

On a much less vain note....as you can see by that count down on my side bar... the March of Dimes: Walk for Babies is right around the corner.

I was told it was going to be a short 2 mile walk on the beach.  Turns out it's a 5K.  I feel very very under prepared. I am a really slow walker.  But this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart.  I will have fun and be glad I did it....but right now I am scared.

The first (and last) time I did a 5K I finished 3rd to last.  The worst part is that this information comes up when I Google myself (like you don't!).  I hope old friends from High School aren't stumbling across this embarrassing bit of information when they get to wondering what I have been up to... cringe.

Really though, I am not concerned with the time. I'm happy I'm doing it and will have a blast!

Brown Haired Girl

I have been watching YouTube DIY hair videos.  This video showed how to cut your bangs with a razor.  And this video showed more bang cutting techniques.  Here are the results.

I didn't do a "before photo" so I had to recycle a photo from another post showing off asparagus.  It does the trick...

I also saw this video for a really easy up do.

Mine didn't come out exactly like that. But I still liked it.  What do you think?


I still need to play around with it a bit.


I thought there was something kinda cool about it.

I love this cute ponytail look from this video.

This is what I came up with.

I love the lump.  And the hair covering the hair-tie is so cute.

You can see my razor bangs in that photo too.  I really like Luxy's YouTube videos.  She has over a hundred.  All of them are so cute and easy!  Check them out.

Brown Haired Girl

On my last hair post, Blog Wobble left me a comment mentioning a sock bun.  I had never heard of it before and quickly jumped on YouTube (per her suggestion).  I was amazed. How had a never heard of this before?  You can watch a video about it here. There are two different ways to do it.  After making a donut out of a sock like that video shows, you can roll your hair into it (like that video also shows) or you can wrap your hair around it and pin it.  I tried it and was pretty amazed.  But the sock showed through my hair.  I didn't want my bun to have white sections poking through.  That's when I found this amazing video.  It showed this brown donut hair thing that hides better in your hair.  It comes in blonde and black too.

I ran out and snagged one of these for $3.00. 

I absolutely love it. So fast. I roll my hair in it.  It takes 1 minute. It makes my bun look huge.  Love that.

Here is a pic of what it looked like when I threw it in my head in the car right after I bought it. No mirror, no brush, no hair tie. Not bad!

Here's another one...


Then I decided to wear it at work.

Here's another pic.


Vanity is NOT my proudest personality trait :-)

I just rolled it up and used two bobby pins to secure the pieces that got missed.

Hair How To

I found this great video on YouTube which has been lost in the virtual world.  I cannot find it to link it here.  So you will have to go off my stinky directions. 

I love wavy bouncy hair. But it takes FOREVER  to curl.  This method takes 10 minutes.

Blow hair dry.  Divide into 4 sections: two in the front and two in the back.  Curl a section tight and AWAY from your face.  Spray it and LEAVE it. It will look like a big ringlet.  Go on to the next section and do the same thing until you have 4 sprayed ringlets on your head. Let the hair completely cool.  Turn your head upside down.  With your fingers just massage your roots...DON'T run your fingers through your hair. Flip your head back over.  Tada!!

Before:


After: (yes, I know all these pics make me look super duper VAIN.  But the ones of me from the back also serve as good *before* pics...so that's how I sleep at night)




















Here's one from the back

And another

and still more

I did this haircut myself...I think I did pretty good considering I graduated from the YouTube Beauty Academy.

Brown Haired Girl

In another post a long time ago, I mentioned that I had cut my own hair using my YouTube education.  I didn't have a camera at the time and some one requested I post a picture of it.  This is all I got....


As much as it irritates me when I see girls at the gym in full make-up and styled hair, I have to admit I tried it.  I wanted to see if I could get my hair looking big, bumpy, messy, and in a bun.  How did I do?

Most headbands don't stay in my head, so I have to pick function over fashion in this area. But I thought it was pretty stinkin' cute!
 

Beauty School

I have been feeling extra super frumpy lately. I just can't find my Pretty. When I shower and dress at the gym in the morning, I am consistently amazed by how good everyone looks when they are done getting dressed. They look put together. I am so jealous. I watch the process and it's not all that different from what I do. But the end result is so much nicer.

Going up and down in weight does pose problems to my wardrobe. I only have 2 pairs of jeans that I wear right now. And they are both a bit too big. And I don't own any winter tops that fit. So I have been wearing a t-shirt and then putting one of two jackets on top. I have really been wanting a good haircut. Fun. Flippy. Flirty. Whenever I try to explain what I want to a hair stylist I never ever ever get it.

And half the time they end up cutting way too much off my hair, which is pretty long (half way down my back). And they never get the layers right. This reminded me of an old problem I used to have with my eye brows. My eyebrows are thick and I like them that way.... none of the people I paid to wax my eyebrows agreed with me. They always took way too much off. After the last massacre to my eyebrows (which are still bald in crucial spots) I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bought professional waxing supplies. And have been doing my own eyebrows. And I love them. So, what about my own hair?

I had no doubt that I could cut someone else's hair the way I wanted mine....but how to do it to myself?? This problem was really eating at me. So I turned to the one place that was sure to have answers. Google. And she sent me to YouTube where I found this awesome video and a whole bunch of others, including demos on how to cut side swept bangs, and the twist cutting technique which makes perfect angles in your hair.

I felt really confident. I went home.... and cut my own hair. I even gave myself bangs.... and?

I....LOVE it!!! I am so excited! This morning in the dressing room I also brought my own blow dryer and a fat curling iron and did my hair. I am still in my frumpy clothes but I feel a lot better. Amazing what a good cut can do!