Thursday, April 26, 2012

Reward & Punishment

I am so close to the 50 pound mark I can taste it! This will bring me down to 225 pounds. Ten more pounds to go before I get there.  I wanted to mark this milestone by rewarding myself with something special and unique.  And I found it.

Isn't it adorable and lovely?  I don't have it in my clutches yet...but soon..oh so soon!  I love owls. And I think it's a fitting symbol for weight loss success.  Owls are a symbol of wisdom...which makes me think of this....

"Wisdom is proved righteous by its works." --Matthew 11:19

I have made some wise choices and worked hard and it shows!

I am in Phase 4 of the Fat Smash Diet.  This phase allows for yummy and delicious things.  It also requires that I increase my workouts to 45 minutes 5 days a week. Not horrible. Very doable. I have been really good about allowing myself to have treats within the portion sizes allowed on the diet.
There is something incredibly empowering about being able to have a little bit of something delectable.  The fact that I am able to do this makes me feel like I have super powers.

At first I was going to skip the treats all together.  The idea of having junk in my house terrified me. I had to remind myself that the ice cream in my freezer is more scared of me than I am of it (as well it should be).  I am so glad that I took this chance. This is my real ultimate goal. To be able to enjoy treats in moderation. And not have it trigger a feeding frenzy.

Due to the fact that I have added extras into my diet, I am even more strict with getting my workouts in. And I think I may be going a little overboard.  Earlier this week I started my day with 30 minutes on the elliptical, swam for an hour, and then went for a one hour bike ride in the evening. It was too much. Much too much. I chose to do all those things mostly because they were all fun and I wanted to...but if I'm honest with myself it's because I am terrified of what that scale will say Monday because of eating all these extra calories.  I don't want to use exercise as a punishment.  I hate when I feel this way. I lost zero pounds last week and I know if the same thing happens this week (or God forbid, goes UP), I will be devastated.  I don't want to be THAT girl.  The girl who lets her mood be governed by the number on the scale. How do I stop this?

Here is a shot of how my hair looked after I slept in braids, took them out and pinned it back :-)

Here is the back view....

And a pic of me with Hubs.

On a much less vain you can see by that count down on my side bar... the March of Dimes: Walk for Babies is right around the corner.

I was told it was going to be a short 2 mile walk on the beach.  Turns out it's a 5K.  I feel very very under prepared. I am a really slow walker.  But this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart.  I will have fun and be glad I did it....but right now I am scared.

The first (and last) time I did a 5K I finished 3rd to last.  The worst part is that this information comes up when I Google myself (like you don't!).  I hope old friends from High School aren't stumbling across this embarrassing bit of information when they get to wondering what I have been up to... cringe.

Really though, I am not concerned with the time. I'm happy I'm doing it and will have a blast!


  1. So close! And will be so happy once you reach it! And the watch is so pretty!
    "The fact that I am able to do this makes me feel like I have super powers" <--- YES! I have a stash of dark chocolate for an occasional treat and it feels so good just to know it's there, when I need it.
    Scale/Mood -- I struggle, and it's scary to know that a number dictates how I feel, so I'm hoping to learn to trust that what I do will accumulate. Delaying weighing until the end of the month (this month) is really helpful for me, but it takes a lot of will power to avoid.

    Much too much...yep, I find it difficult to keep the exercise to being frequent, consistent but not excessive.

    Also, march of dimes walk -- you are awesome! I love that you're doing this!

    And your hair is so shiny! So jealous!

  2. I remember reading about your dark chocolate stash and thinking "I wish I could DO that." :-)

    I give you so much credit for only weight in once a month. A few years ago I put my scale in storage because I was weighing myself every day and couldn't stop!

    Yes, that was toooo much for one day. By the end of the bike ride it didn't even feel good. Just exhausting. And I was really struggling with the hills. I was on zero energy.

  3. You hair looks cute like that. I wish I could get mine to do something. It is very drab.

    Good luck with the next few lbs. You got this!

  4. That is a fantastic reward for yourself, such a pretty watch!
    Your hair looks good! Sometimes when I see people with long, beautiful hair I regret cutting mine some years back. It was all the way down to my butt and now it's well over my shoulders. :D

  5. Love your hair! Rewarding yourself with non-food things is the way to go - I also love owls! When I reach my mini goals I buy myself clothes, mostly because I need them as my other clothes are too baggy, but also because I figured I deserve a treat! I do let myself have food treats once a week though, I'll always love chocolate so I just allow myself small, portion controlled amounts. You're ice cream looked delicious! Being able to have them in the house and just enjoy little bits of them shows you're in full control. Good luck with your weight loss, you're doing awesome! :D

  6. You have beautiful hair! Also love the pink owl! Very cute. :)


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