Monday, April 30, 2012
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
He says I walk all over him. I can't take the verbal abuse and mood swings. I know I need him.... but I also need a break. It's hard, yes. But it's time. Really, it's not him, it's me. I have been so co-dependent. And I give him way too much control over my emotions.
I have made my decision. Scale and I are breaking up.
Well, it's more like we are "taking a break" (Ross and Rachel style). More of a separation than a divorce.
I will weigh myself on June 1st. Not before then.
This Phase 3 has been brutal. Trying to eat "treats" in moderation is an emotional roller coaster ride. One minute I'm in control using a 1/2 cup measuring spoon to serve up my low fat frozen yogurt.....the next minute, I am awakened from my carb coma by the sound of my spoon hitting the bottom of the Ben & Jerry's container.
A huge part of me wants to just give up on this *have some in moderation* idea. I want to go back to the safety of Phase 2, which might mean that I have frozen cherries instead of frozen yogurt for dessert but at least I'm less likely to fall off the deep end. But I can't do that. I need to learn how to eat in a BALANCED way. Because I want this weight loss to be long term. I need to figure this out. And I need to do it on my own. Without the scale. There are only 2 more weeks of this land-mine filled Phase 3. After that I begin the cycle again and go back to Phase 1.
Despite my food issues, I had a pretty good time this weekend. Hubs and I got a Groupon for this sushi place. It was AMAZING. We each got the Dinner Roll Special (3 rolls of sushi plus salad or soup for $12....Holy raw fish, Batman!)
Isn't it pretty? That's a Spicy Salmon Roll, Tuna Roll, and California Roll.
Then we got Tempura ice cream...mmmm fried ice cream...
The bill came to $11.04. I felt like we had robbed the place! Look at all that food we got!
On a sad note, I woke up Sunday morning with a horrible head cold. Super sick today. So no exercise. I guess this is a good week to break up with Scale....I know he will have nothing good to say about that. He is such a nag!
Wish me the best! This is all so scary and new.