I am really happy with my number this week. Losing 3.8 lb is really great. It's extremely depressing that I went so far off the deep end Week 2 and gained over 5 lbs. I do that all the time. It's so typical. How do I stop that? I hate this one step forward, two steps back cycle. It's so self destructive. And pointless.
The one good thing about not having given up totally is that I am making progress on the *exercise* side of things. I took it pretty easy for the first three weeks. I walked on the treadmill at a very easy pace. I didn't want to hurt myself and more importantly I wanted to give myself time to build up some muscle and flexibility. This morning I was able to pick up the pace and do intervals with raising the incline up to a 10 every five minutes. I really had a *workout*. It felt good. No pain in my hip or in my plantar fasciitis.
Look at how far I walked and how many calories I burned in 45 mins!
I am really happy with how I'm eating and my workout schedule. Weight watchers is easy to follow. I love my free day each week. And getting to the gym Mon-Fri is very doable. Almost enjoyable. It's just my brain. I get this "freak out, out of control" attack and just shove food in my face. Its so connected to my view of myself. Which changes with the weather. When I feel good and healthy, I eat good and healthy. When I was really young I always felt huge. I felt like a fat girl and so I ate like a fat girl. There didn't seem to be any point to eating healthy or taking care of my body. And I still fall into that. I feel like junk. So I eat accordingly.
I have everything I need to break that cycle. I just need to keep working at it every single day.