Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Skinny

The first time I saw her, my mouth fell open.  It was in the aerobics area of my gym.  She was crouched over like it hurt to stand up straight. Yet she was going full speed on the elliptical. I have never seen anyone so thin.  Not in a picture and not in real life. When I imagine poor starving people in Africa, they are porkers compared to her. 

I immediately felt so bad for her.  What must she imagine herself to look like? How much pain must she be in?  What issues is she battling to be doing this to herself?  I wanted to DO something or SAY something.  I wanted to help her.  Here is this woman who looks like a skeleton running like crazy on an elliptical. I had to make her stop. She is killing herself.  I was about to say something when a scenario ran through my head.

If I walked into a McDonald's and saw a 400 pound woman eating 2 orders of french fries, a big mac, large coke and a milk shake....would I say anything to her?  How would I feel if I was at a restaurant eating WAY too much food and the person in the booth next to me tried to *help* by saying that I was hurting myself and to please stop. 

I began to think of many of the similarities between someone like her and someone like me. Both of our eating habits are killing us.  We both are where we are because of major emotional issues.  Both of us need help.

I wish morbid obesity received the same recognition among medical professionals as other medical problems like anorexia.  Granted, my doctor is the first to tell me that being fat is going to kill me....and before it does, it will make me REALLY uncomfortable by giving me bad knees and sleep apnea.  However the TREATMENT is sooooo different. 

When I went to the doctor a few years ago to discover my blood pressure was so high I was almost hospitalized, the doctor yelled that I could have a stroke and die at any moment.  She hollered that my weight and eating habits were to blame.  She proceeded to say in the most patronizing tone, "For breakfast, have a piece of fruit.  For lunch have 4 oz of baked chicken breast with a salad and 1 tablespoon of fat free dressing.  For dinner, have a small potato with NO butter and a SMALL piece of chicken. DO NOT have any snacks.  If you absolutely can NOT handle not having dessert, then have ONE cookie on a plate with a tall glass of fat free milk."

She looked at me like "You're welcome. Problem solved."  I half expected her to smack me on the forehead and shout "Hallelujah!"  So simple, huh?

Now if the woman mentioned earlier came into this same doctor's office, would this doctor yell, "Anorexia is killing you!" And then sit back and say, "For breakfast have an omelet with tons of cheese and bacon.  Make sure you snack on potato chips all day.  For lunch have a huge slice of pizza with pepperoni.  Each night have a pint of Ben and Jerry's." 

Would that have been her answer?  No.  Someone with anorexia gets treated for the CAUSE of her eating disorder along WITH the symptoms. A fat person gets advice on how to fix the symptom but not the cause. 

A morbidly obese person's *illness* is the obesity in itself.  The fact that they weigh too much.  A person with anorexia's *illness* isn't that they weigh too little.  The illness is the mental disposition.  What is happening on the inside.  And that is what needs to be treated for the person to heal. 

I'm not saying it's the same for overweight people as it is for people who suffer from anorexia. And I'm not even saying that it's the same for every overweight person.  I'm just saying that there is no way that a person can become morbidly obese just because they like Snickers bars too much. There is more under the surface.  And it has to be dealt with for any success to be long term. 

The saddest part is that this women on the elliptical was trying hard to put on a show. She had a ton of make up on with bright red lips, and her long blonde hair was perfectly straightened and spayed in place.  It's like she was almost pleading silently for every one to believe that she was ok and happy with herself. It's ok to not be ok.  There is no shame in it.  We are all dealing with something. We all have issues to work through.  And what matters is that we DO.

11 comments:

  1. Wow. That is so true. I have thought that before but never voiced it. I wish everyone could read this. It would help people understand. Very well said.
    Amber

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    1. Thanks so much for reading. I think it is something that many people think about but don't talk about.

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  2. This was a very thoughtful post - I really liked it a lot. I have struggled with an eating disorder for my entire life. I've often felt less than when my eating disorder has led me to be overweight, yet when it led me to be underweight I felt strong and powerful. But most of all, you're right in saying it's ok not to be ok. I'm very proud of myself and all of us who are working to deal with our issues.

    Thank you for sharing this.

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    1. That is really interesting about you feeling strong and powerful when you are underweight. I think all of us are *not ok* in one way or another and when we waste our energy trying to cover it up we are too tired to actually try to fix it. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. What you wrote here ... so totally true. Binging/overeating is usually due to some painful, deep-rooted issues. Just like with anorexics. But they get the psychological treatment they need, covered by insurance, while us obese folks get told "you need to eat less and move more" and not even a nutritionist/dietitian is covered by insurance. Unfair.

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    1. Great point. We are told that this is killing us and will rule us out for things like LIFE insurance and HEALTH insurance but yet we are not given to medical support needed to fix it.

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  4. AMEN!!! The physical part of losing weight really is just that simple - eat less, move more. The mental part of losing weight is a thousand times more complicated and takes twice as long as the physical part. The good news? It really can be done, even without insurance support.

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  5. Speaking up is so hard! People's bodies are ... their bodies. It's just so very hard. But everything you're writing here is so true.. It's really important!

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  6. Fantastically put :d I'm so proud you wrote this so well! It's a tough subject but needs to be addressed. It's never so black and white as people seem to believe,

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  7. This is one of the best posts I've read about this topic. It's true - people with anorexia are treated completely differently than people who are obese. Sure, they are fed (sometimes force fed) to keep them alive, but they also receive tons of treatment to get to the root of the problem.

    I've still not dealth with the true root of my issues - I may have lost the weight, but I'm afraid of it all coming back if I stop too long to figure out why I got big in the first place...

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    1. Thanks Kris. I think it takes a long time. But it's possible.

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Here's your chance to address that Pink Elephant in the room....